It’s okay to call the police. Your safety is their priority.
Call 1800 RESPECT for 24/7 confidential advice, support and to access a refuge.
It is not your responsibility to fix or stop the abuse. You deserve to live safely.
Prepare a Safety Plan, or visit Prepare if you have time.
Checklist to leave an abusive relationship in an emergency.
1. Contact police
The main priority of the police is to keep you safe. They can protect you, help you take legal action, and refer you to other domestic violence services.
- Call Triple Zero (000): For immediate assistance, call 000 or visit your nearest police station.
- Request a Police Protection Order: Request a 48-hour protection order from the Police. It prevents the perpetrator from being near you while you apply for a permanent restraining order. Learn more about what to expect from the police.
2. Support children
If you have children, prioritise their safety with yours:
- Protection Order: Ensure they are included in the protection order.
- Device Safety: Turn off their devices.
- Inform School or Childcare: Notify and request that children aren’t allowed to be picked up from school or childcare centres without your permission.
3. Leave the house
Exit the house in the safest way possible. Try to have house and car keys in hand so you can leave quickly.
- Alternative Routes: Change your usual routes and methods of transport to avoid being tracked or followed.
- Safety Plan: If you have more time, learn about making a safety plan for exiting.
4. Withdraw cash
If available, collect cash as soon as possible. Withdraw money from an ATM, ensuring you have enough to cover food and supplies for two weeks.
5. Find a safe place to go
- Police station: If you are worried you may be followed or unsafe, go to a police station.
- Friend or family member’s house: The next safest place is at a friend or family member’s house. Make sure you trust them not to talk to the abuser.
- Domestic violence shelters: You may be able to stay at a local domestic violence shelter. These shelters’ addresses and contact information are hidden to protect the survivors. Call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) to be referred to a shelter.
6. Contact support services
Call domestic violence hotlines and local support services. These organisations offer immediate assistance, including referrals to housing, legal advice, and emotional support.
- Call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) for 24/7 support.
7. Tell a friend or family member
If you feel safe, tell a trusted friend or family member. They can help you find safety and provide support.
Example statements:
- “I need to tell you something important. I’m experiencing abuse at home, and I’m scared for my safety. I need your help to stay safe.”
- “I have left the home. I feel unsafe. I have the children. We will stay somewhere safe tonight. I might need your help.”
8. Turn off unsafe devices
If you think your device is hacked or being monitored by your abuser, turn it off. Try to contact friends and family safely so they know you’re okay.
Once you are safe and have more time, we recommend revisiting Yourtoolkit.com to learn more about breaking free from domestic abuse.
Frequently Asked Questions
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What excuse can I use to leave the house?
If you need to leave quickly but are worried about how to explain your departure, consider saying:
- You need to run an urgent errand, like pickup bread, nappies or post a letter.
- A friend needs help immediately
- The kids have an after-school sport, birthday party or activity.
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What do I do with my children?
It’s advised to take children with you if you think they’re at any risk. Contact the police for a temporary protection order and include your children’s details to protect them too. Longer term arrangements like restraining orders or child custody may require legal support. Remember your love and presence are the most important things your children need.
When it’s safe, get advice from a family lawyer or a legal service to understand your rights and options for keeping your children safe. Find free community legal services in your state.
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Who should I tell, who can I talk to safely?
It’s important to share what’s happened with someone you trust, whether that’s a close friend, family member, or a professional. If you’re unsure, consider reaching out to a domestic violence helpline or support service. These services are confidential, and they can help you figure out your next steps safely. You don’t have to go through this alone, and there are people trained to support you through this difficult time. If you can, try to keep a record of who you told and when so that you can use it as evidence in court if you need to.