Threats as Abuse

Threatening behaviours in a relationship are a form of coercive control that gives you the illusion of a choice when in reality the abusive partner is attempting to make the choice for you. A threat is a demand for something that results in a negative consequence towards you if the demand is not met.

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Threats force you to respond to the demand when you do not want to, for example, threatening to hurt you if you don’t have sex with the abusive partner when they demand it. Threats undermine the security of your relationship.

Ashley recently moved in with her partner of 2 years Eli. Eli leaves the house a lot with no explanation. He has forbidden Ashley to leave the house while he is out, he threatens that if he comes home and she’s not there that he will smash the house up. When she questions where he’s been he says she’s controlling and threatens to tell their friends that she monitors his location, which is not true. During these conversations Eli gets aggressive and punches the wall and says ‘if you keep going, it will be your face I hit next time’.

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Threats as Abuse

Harming or killing a family pet and saying “next time it will be you”
Threats to withhold medication
Threatening to lie to the Police that you are an abuser and to have you arrested
Threatening to destroy or withhold property
Threatening to ruin your reputation
Threatening to turn the children against you to force you to stay in the relationship
Threatening to harm your or others around you

Find Support to Healthy Practices

Yourtoolkit.com offers a free step-by-step guide to healthy financial, safety and wellbeing practices when facing family and domestic violence. If you are experiencing threatening behaviour, you may find these website sections particularly helpful.